how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
