Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
