I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
so much tequila, so little girl.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
