Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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