Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
