her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i just google imaged poop.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Randomize
