I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Randomize
