My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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