we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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