we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You are the jesus of drinking
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
