Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
