we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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