im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
