This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
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