i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
And then my night got REAL pukey
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
