At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
