My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
