apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
