I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
