the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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