Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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