I'm gonna have a badass scar
My liver just broke up with me...
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
