So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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