32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
