There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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