My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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