So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
