John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
