Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
