I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
