I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
