how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
