dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
