so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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