a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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