There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
