why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize