you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
