i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
