Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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