I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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