I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
