I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Randomize
