U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
