please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
