Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize