am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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