I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
