Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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