hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
