I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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