Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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