is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
