ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
