You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
