so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
