I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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