wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Couch. On fire.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
