Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
