Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
