We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'm sobbing to NWA
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
