Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
