I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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