i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
