whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
