physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
and she was petting her beer can
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
