we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
