flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
